so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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