drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I need moral support for this bender
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
