Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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