did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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