i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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