I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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