Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
