I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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