u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
