I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you had me at cake vodka
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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