is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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