I just made out with a guy for $7.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
When are your genitals available?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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