she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
