Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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