I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
