White coat. Heels.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
