I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
