Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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