saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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