Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
