very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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