You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize