I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
