I haven't been this sober since birth.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I enjoy the company of your penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
