She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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