I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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