I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it penis luge time yet?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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