Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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