This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
