He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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