omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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