you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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