Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
