ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
