I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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