wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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