I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
