And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you traded sex for a burrito?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
