I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
