can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I could fuck to npr.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
