Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
