I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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