Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize