I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
