In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
