walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
