If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
