Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
