woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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