there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
