I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize