everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
