how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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