If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
