You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
