In the future we'll all be gay
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Too much gin, very little bucket
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
