I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize