my sisters under your porch take her home
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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