like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize