is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
