i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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