I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
