you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
