So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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