I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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