oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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