You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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