They should really pass out barf bags in church
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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