It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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