i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
