We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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