Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Lo siento on account of my penis...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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