I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
