I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize