the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
