theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize