I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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