Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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