seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize